Assalamualaikum and Hi!
So it is already February and not try to be bias here, but still a new year to me. So HAPPY NEW YEAR guys. Probably, I wanna say umm HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR (?)
2018 has been a tough year for me since day 1 until the last day of the last month but let's move on, shall we? Yaa, as if by saying move on, we are really moving on, right?
The highlight of 2018 for me is definitely the first grandchild in The Kamarudins. My nephew, Faaeq Aisy Anaqi.
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| Since Mamamei is still single, you are going to be my boyfriend as for now, okay? |
Welcoming Aisy as the new member in the family is the only thing that I wanna highlight, I guess. So, what's hot and new for 2019?
I actually don't really do this new year resolutions thingy, though, every year I made lots of resolutions that I wish I could achieve at the end of the year. But you know what, I am not that consistent and never will be. I just can write but to do them.. I'll let you do for me mmkay?
Turning 26 in 2019, I've made up my mind (yeke ni?) that even I am not consistent in striving my goals for this year, well at least, I can unlock one of those lists that I make earlier. As for the other resolutions, I still have to do it - although achieving them are nearly impossible, but at least I try.
I realize that this year's resolutions are more mature than the previous ones. Previously, I was preaching about jodoh la kaya la apa la; and giving a little focus on my inner self and improving in what I'm lacking at.
Yep.
1. Too blessed to be stressed. In the previous year, I was so stressed and (self proclaimed: depressed) as I was facing too much pressure and problems. Living in negative environment and vibes, making the situation even more difficult. With small circle of friends, later on, I realize that I am living in more peace and couldn't care less with what happen around me which are not related to me at all.
You know what? Cared too much about things which are none of your business eventually effect you and the peoples involved. More to negative effects than the positive ones. I've been in this situation, hence the pressure, and me being so stress about my life! As if, memikirkan masalah negara lol. So, this year, I hope and pray that I will continuously remind myself to keep my circle small, to count the blessings, and focus on what I'm doing without minding about things which have nothing to do with my life and my family.
2. Healthy. Pfft.
This.
Sounds.
Easy.
But..
It.
Isn't!
Speaking of being healthy. Last year, I've been going in and out from the clinic / hospital, literally at least once for every two months. Though it wasn't a serious health problem (nauzubillah.. nobody wants it.) but it was very tough for me to bear. Imagine, people questioning about your health, because you seem fine on the outside for them. But as if you can show them the pain like 'nah sis, masuk dalam badan saya kejap rasain lohh!' lol because by the look on my face isn't enough, somehow. I am not really a cry baby in front of people because eyy ingat orang hadap you sakit ke so please man up.
This year, I want to focus on my health but only in January itself, I went to the hospital for two times. That one time, I had to ask for an early pelepasan because I have to go to the hospital. On my own. There you go Miss Independent. Siap pegi yellow zone. Not to worry, everything is fine now.
I lost weight and I am struggling to gain weight and my goal is to gain up to my minimum weight for an ideal BMI. I've been eating religiously but I can't keep up to the schedule of eating 6 times a day. Also I am not working out, for this year. Yet. See, how can I nag and brag about not gaining weight if I know I'm not doing it right to get back on track?
3. Improving my inner self. Talking about being religious huh? But as bad as one can be, there is always niat in them, trying to be good and improving themselves too. Slowly. Like others. I won't talk much about this but let's hope that what I'm dealing and doing behind the scene will always stay as what it is now or probably even better day by day. Aminn 💜
4. I've been practicing this since earlier this year, where, there will be a few minutes in a day, I will take a moment to think and reflect on what I've been doing on the day. Thinking about what I've been doing, the peoples and emotions involved. I've been dealing with mixed feelings and failures and I tell you what, having a good support system (family & friends or if you have a very supportive partner) is all you need to face these failures / frustrations. A plus point here, do not expect too much on people - even your loved ones. Why? Just don't. Because the pain causes by the one who used to close to you will leave the scar for the rest of your life. Learn to forgive but not forget, also learn to appreciate yourself. Know your worth. Don't put yourself too low that eventually you realize, you've been dealing with the same things all over again. Is it worth your time and effort?
5. Being productive is the repetition of the resolution which I can never achieve. Because I can be very productive today and I can be very lazy tomorrow. It is all about the motivation and how I control my mind. Well, more to the current mood. If I start my day with positive vibes all the way, well, I can focus on what I'm doing but if something spoils the day, I don't think I can smile for the day. I am that easy. As in I can be very cheerful now and in the next 10 seconds, I can be furious.. until the next week. Hahaha, good luck in dealing with me.
So,what's yours?
